


I've Heard It Both Ways

by GoldStarGrl



Category: Psych
Genre: Dyslexia, Hurt/Comfort, Learning Disabilities, M/M, lassie can be a jerk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 19:02:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1439368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldStarGrl/pseuds/GoldStarGrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shawn has been hiding his dyslexia for thirty years. He's fooled everyone he knows.</p><p>Well, almost anyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Heard It Both Ways

He noticed it early.

Of course he noticed it, he noticed everything, even in kindergarten.

The other kids were stumbling through _See Spot Run,_ slowly but surely stringing the words together. His new friend Gus could already read Dr. Seuss.

But when Shawn opened a book, all he saw was nonsense.

He recognized the letters. An A, J, S. But they didn't fit together. They swam and flipped and switched places when he wasn't looking. As soon as he pinned one down, all the others blurred away. What took Gus a minute to read took Shawn twenty.

But he didn't want anyone to think he was stupid. So when the teacher called on them each to read, he just repeated the part Gus had said.

He had to figure out how to hide it.

* * *

 

He was ten when he learned the word.

"Shawn, stop writing your 'S' backwards, people are going to think you have dyslexia." Gus chided him as they did their homework at his kitchen table.

Shawn hadn't realized all his Ss, Ds, and Bs were wrong until Gus pointed it out.

"Oh. Yeah. Right." His laugh didn't quite reach his eyes.

He erased his essay until he rubbed a hole through the paper.

* * *

"Mr. Spencer, will you please read the next paragraph?"

Shawn's stomach jerked unpleasantly as he took his feet off his desk and looked up at the board of his 12th grade History class.

"By...the 19th cen...tury most of ...Nef-er-titty's treasure was found."

The class giggled. Gus rolled his eyes. Mrs. Hughes gave him a disapproving look.

"It's Nefertiti, Mr. Spencer."

He shrugged, forcing himself not to go red.

"Really? 'Cause...'cause I've heard it both ways."

The class laughed and Mrs. Hughes sighed, turning to ask Ashley Spinelli to read the next section.

Shawn exhaled a breath he'd been holding in for a long time.

He had figured out his cover.

* * *

"I've heard it both ways."

"You have not."

He hadn't. But it was better than admitting he was reading at a fifth-grade level.

He couldn't spell half the words he knew, let alone say them right.

* * *

"...That's why she needed to hide the necklace. It was the perfect in-dice-tation of what she had done."

"It's _'indication'_ , Spencer." Lassiter said as he grumpily filled out the paperwork for the latest case Shawn had cracked.

Shawn pushed himself up, sitting on the edge of his desk. He leaned in an inch from Lassiter's face, making him jump and flush.

"I've heard it both ways."

"Jesus, would you stop _saying_ that." Lassiter slammed the report down on his desk. "You sound idiotic."

Shawn clutched his heart in mock-hurt.

"Oh, my master's cruel words pierce me like a knife." He flopped across the desk. Lassiter pushed his head off his keyboard.

"I'm just saying, it wouldn't kill you to open a dictionary every once and awhile."

"Ha!" Shawn did his best, fancy-lady-offended-at-the-opera scoff, but his eyes remained fixed on a point above Lassie's head, slightly uneasy.

Lassiter noticed. He tilted his head slightly.

"Spencer...you do know how to read, don't you?"

Shawn rolled his eyes and got off the desk. Lassiter's mouth dropped open.

"Oh...my God, you can't read! You were one of those kids who just slipped through the cracks!"

"Lassie, I can read!" Shawn said, his stomach twisting unpleasantly. Alarms were blaring in his head. He needed to get out of there.

Lassiter reached into his desk and pulled out a copy of _California State Laws and Addendums_  and cracked it open on a random page. He held it up to Shawn's face.

"Just read a sentence from here. Come on. Do it."

Shawn swallowed, trying to keep his face blank. A few other cops were starting to look over at this spectacle.

"Driving b..etween 12 and 5 is forbid-den...for...for junior...op...op..."

The words blurred in and out of focus. His face flushed. He felt eyes boring into his neck as Lassie stared at him head on, half expectant, half enthralled with the hot mess in front of him.

He couldn't think. He couldn't do it.

He turned on his heel and ran.

* * *

He ran straight out of the station as the murmuring started around him, people _tsking_ or shaking their heads in disbelief. He ran outside and into the park across the street.

His body slammed into the bench, his head knocking from the wood back into his hands. He rubbed his eyes and punched the bridge of his nose, trying to force the blush in his skin to fade.

Why had he thought he could hide it? He was so stupid. He had always been so stupid.

And now everyone would know.

"...Spencer?" A voice said from the edge of the clearing.

"Go away Lassie." He said without looking up from his hands.

A heavy sigh. The bench creaked as Shawn felt Lassiter sit down next to him. They didn't speak. Lassiter unbuttoned his jacket and stretched his arms out across the back of the bench. Shawn could feel the heat of his hand brushing against his shoulder.

"It's dyslexia, right?"

"It's never been proven by scientists." Shawn groaned as he finally leaned forward, holding his head in his hands. "But yeah."

They fell silent for another moment. Lassiter sighed.

"That was a jerk move." He said finally. "I shouldn't have pushed you like that."

"Yeah, well, you got what you've always wanted. Everyone knows what a colossal moron I am."

"You're not a moron just because you can't spell, Spencer. You're..." His voice caught, like his tongue was resisting the words his mind was trying to get out. "One of the finest detectives I've ever seen."

Shawn turned his head, still holding the left side in his hand.

"Lassie, I never knew you cared."

Lassiter rolled his eyes and made to stand up.

"Jesus, forget it."

"No! No, I..." Shawn shrugged and laughed ruefully. "You know I can't even spell your name?"

"Really?"

Shawn pulled his legs up so he could sit cross legged on the bench.

"Why do you think I write 'Lassie' on all my emails?"

"Because you like annoying me by comparing me to a fictional dog from the 50s?"

Shawn gave a tiny, sad smile and looked down again, uncharacteristically quiet.

He really was quite handsome when he wasn't pulling faces or jabbering on about nothing, Lassiter couldn't help but think. He stared down at him for a second too long.

Shawn noticed, though he didn't lift his head. It felt weird, the way Lassie was looking at him, with something akin to concern.

For once, he didn't know how to respond.

Lassiter sighed and sat down next to him again, closer this time.

"It's L-A-S..."

Their knees were touching. He was so warm.

"S-I..."

Shawn pulled his head up so they were face to face. His intense stare made Lassiter's voice taper off.

"T-E-R." He finished softly.

"Huh." Shawn said. He sounded different too. Lower, huskier. He was looking at Lassiter as though he had never seen him before. Carlton's stomach dropped.

"Spen-"

He was cut off my Shawn's mouth crashing into his.

_What the hell is happening?_

Spencer was kissing him. Shawn Spencer was actually kissing him on his actual mouth.

This was so weird. And wrong and strange and how did his hands end up on Spencer's waist, nose breathing in the mix of aftershave and candy dust that was just so Spencer.

Shawn seemed to have mixed up angry and turned on in that ridiculous head of his.

And yet Carlton wasn't complaining.

_What the hell is happening?_

Half of Shawn was shouting at him to abort, pull back, run for the hills until he reached San Francisco and cut off contact with anyone within a fifty mile radius of that stupid park bench.

But the other half was feeling so damn good it won the argument.

Lassie's lips were soft and warm and his stomach felt like a small army of fireworks was going off inside it the longer he sat twisted up his his gangly arms.

They pulled apart almost a minute later, foreheads still pressed together.

"Jesus, Spencer." Carlton breathed softly, running his hands down Shawn's thighs. "I should mock your learning disabilities more often."

"Or just help me remember I'm gifted in other ways." He waggled his eyebrows and started singing softly. "Shawn and Lassie sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-"

"Need help there?"

He grinned. "Shut up L-A-S-S-I-T-E-R."

And he pulled him forward by his tie and made him do just that.


End file.
